I'm not sure if my relationship is healthy

I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy

Disagreements in relationships are normal but when they become frequent and begin to form a pattern, it might be a sign that something is wrong, and possibly abusive. 

If something doesn’t feel right in your relationship, it probably isn’t

An abuser may say things like ‘I didn’t mean it’, ‘I was having a bad day’, ‘it only happened once’, in order to justify or excuse their hurtful behaviours. This might make you start doubting whether your concerns about your relationship are valid. If you’ve heard any of these before, it could be a sign of an unhealthy or controlling relationship. 

Another sign of an abusive relationship can be if your behaviour has changed because of how your partner treats you or your children. Perpetrators often create justifications for their actions, which they use to place blame on survivors and to take away any responsibility for themselves. 

We’re here to tell you that perpetrators are responsible for their actions, and you are not to blame. 

We’re here to support you and help you to explore your options, because you deserve a kind and healthy relationship

A healthy relationship should be loving and respectful, with values like support, freedom, happiness, and consent at the centre. 

You can get in touch with a trained domestic abuse worker to help you understand what’s happening and how we can support you through your worries. 

We know talking to someone about your personal life can be hard but getting in touch with us can be your first and most important step.

When you contact us, we promise we will:

  • Never judge you or what you say
  • Give you space to explore your options
  • Support you to make safe choices for you and your children
  • Keep everything you tell us confidential*

*There may be some situations where the risk presented to you, or your children means that safeguarding overrides our confidentiality agreement with you. In these situations, we will make you aware of what we are sharing and with who. 

How to recognise unhealthy behaviour in a relationship

Every situation is unique, but there are some common factors in relationships that might mean they are unhealthy and even abusive. Just thinking about these red-flag behaviours is an important first step. You’ve come to the right place to begin this journey and we are here to support you.

This link contains examples of behaviour that signal that something in a relationship may be ‘off’, and in some cases it could signal abuse. The descriptions might feel overwhelming at first glance and may be difficult or painful to acknowledge, but it’s important to know the unhealthy behaviours before they escalate further. 

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