Staying safe during an incident

If it is safe to do so:

  • call 999 in an emergency
  • leave the phone line open, so the operator can hear what is happening
  • use a pre-arranged code word or message to alert a trusted friend, family member or neighbour
  • plan escape routes from your home in advance
  • follow any safety plan that has been created for you

Keeping a record of abuse

You may not feel ready to report domestic abuse straight away. Keeping a record can help if you decide to report it later. It may also support housing applications or legal proceedings.

If it is safe to do so, keep a record of:

  • the date and time of each incident
  • what happened
  • the names of any witnesses
  • how the incident made you feel
  • photographs of any injuries

If you have injuries, try to get medical help from your GP or a hospital. Medical records can provide important evidence.

Keep any records somewhere safe where the person causing harm cannot find them.

Support services can help you find safe ways to store information.

If you decide to leave

Your safety and the safety of any children is the most important thing.

If you are planning to leave:

  • tell someone you trust
  • agree a safety plan or code word with them
  • pack a small bag with essential items such as clothes, keys, money and important phone numbers
  • keep the bag somewhere safe if you are worried it may be found
  • talk to your children about what to do in an emergency, if appropriate
  • only leave when it is safe to do so
  • take identification and important documents where possible, such as: 
    • passport
    • driving licence
    • birth certificates
    • benefit information
  • contact the police if you need to return to collect belongings
  • get legal advice about protective orders or injunctions

Do not return to the property on your own if you feel unsafe.

If you decide to stay

Support is available even if you are not ready to leave.

You can:

  • contact domestic abuse support services for advice
  • agree safe ways for services to contact you
  • remove evidence of contact with support services if this puts you at risk
  • use a safe device or a public computer to search for information
  • delete browsing history if it is safe to do so
  • delete phone records if this will help keep you safe
  • keep a record of any abuse

Remember, domestic abuse is never your fault. Support is available whenever you are ready to ask for help.